7 Things They Don’t Tell You About Divorce in California (But We Will)

ShannonPayne
Jul 28
2 min read

Getting divorced in California is not as simple as signing a few papers and getting back to your "hot girl era". Whether you're just starting to think about filing, knee-deep in forms, or Googling "What is FL-142?" this blog is for you. As a family law firm that’s seen it all, we’re breaking down the weird, wild, and oh-so-annoying parts of divorce in California.

1. You Need to File More Paperwork Than You Did to Buy a House

Not joking. California loves forms, specifically the Declaration of Disclosure, Income & Expense, FL-this, FL-that.... and if you miss one, the court will send it back like it’s a high school essay with red ink all over it and a big F.

2. The Court Generally Doesn’t Care About Your Ex’s Bad Behavior

“He’s a narcissist!” is something we hear it all the time. Unfortunately, unless it affects the kids or finances in a provable way, the judge isn’t going to side with you just because your ex sucks. It’s harsh, but that's the truth.

3. Custody Isn’t About Who’s “Right”—It’s About What’s “Best”

Even if you have screenshots, a journal, and a group chat full of receipts, custody is all about what’s in the best interest of the child. That means the court might still order 50/50, even if you wish your ex had visitation supervised by the FBI.

4. Mediation Isn’t as Chill as It Sounds

You imagine calm vibes, herbal tea, maybe a therapist. It’s actually two people trying not to throw pens while a mediator begs you to agree on a holiday schedule.

Bring snacks.

5. You Don’t Have to Hire a Lawyer

You can represent yourself. You just need to know what you’re doing. Hiring a lawyer is considered a VIP service when you just cannot, or do not want to go it alone.

6. Divorce Can Actually Be… Empowering

It’s hard. It’s emotional. But it’s also a chance to take back your life, your peace, your power, and your Netflix password. We’ve seen people walk into court feeling terrified and walk out with a whole new sense of freedom.

7. Your Kids Are Watching How You Handle This

More important than any legal form is how you show up at home. You don’t have to be perfect. But showing grace, setting boundaries, and making informed decisions, is next-level parenting during this very trying time.